Post from Josh P about his solo from Bianca

I arrived, a little late as usual, to find Bianca (I could only assume), buried under a blanket, crouched in the wet center of the sundial atop Gasworks' Kite Hill. The early, pre-sunrise light is familiar as Gasworks at
sunrise is my favorite place in the city. A chill wind stired the blanket and I noticed the first trace of movement as the hidden person made a halting, painful approach and reached out to me.

Do I accept the offered hand? Am I moving from the comfort of observer to the vulnerability of participant? After a slight hesitation, of course I do, and I am led to an envelope containing my absolute favorite quote from "The Passion", by Jeanette Winterson.

"How is it that one day life is orderly and you are content, a little cynical perhaps but on the whole just so, and then without warning you find the solid floor is a trapdor and you are now in another place whose geography is uncertain and whose customs are strange? Travellers at least have a choice. Those who set sail know know that things will not be the same as at home. Explorers are perpared. But for us, who travel to cities of the interior by chance, there is no preparaton. We who are fluent find life is a foreign language. Somewhere beween the swamp and the mountains. Somewhere beween fear and sex. Somewere beween God and the Devil passion is and the way there is sudden and the way back worse."

This quote was followed by the imperative "This is perfect."

I stood for a moment - awestruck. I had mentioned this, my favorite book, in the course of my discussions with Bianca, but had never mentioned why or anything about this passage. But it was perfect. And more perfect than either of us could have known.

I am a traveller and love exploration, but have been home-bound for a while and contentedly enjoying my space. This week I had a trapdoor open up underneath me and shake me loose, causing me to question everything in my life. The insight was frightening.

When I woke from my thoughts, I pressed play on the stereo and turned to watch what was in store for me. Bianca emerged, with fiery red hair, from her outer layer of overalls (disguise within disguise within disguise) to reveal a bright orange and red dress. She moved spritely around the hilltop captivating all of us with the intensity of movement.

I was overwhelmed from the beginning of this process by having an artist that I respect so much create something so specifically for me. And overwhelmed at how intimate and personal this piece was. I saw so many parts of myself embodied in this spry and diminuitive dancer with flowing red hair. It wasn't always easy - it is frighting to see these internal thoughts on display. She had penetrated to amazing depth, right through my inner walls and disguises.

It reminds me of another quote from "The Passion":

"Not much touches us, but we long to be touched. We lie awake at night willing the darkness to part and show us a vision."

Once I had crossed into becoming more than observer, I knew that there would be no turning back. We danced and Bianca led me on a promenade around the hilltop. I was grateful for this opportunity to be so touched by a piece.

And of course, all things must end. As Bianca resumed her original disguise, she paused, looking at her dressy heels, aware that they were a remnant of this adventure and knowing that she had to go back to her overalls and sneakers. I found myself rooting for her, that she might stay in the adventure and not go back to 'normal life'. And with some sadness she did finally return and depart.

And so we followed her back into our lives, but with a secret smile from the experience.